We are the most excited we have ever been this week! It’s like Christmas for Hacks in the office.
We’ve found out that we can obtain a picture, any picture and then just make up stuff to go with it and if anyone questions us, our tv hack mates will just say its irrelevant. Brilliant eh?
We are so looking forward to making the most of this new gif-t! We’ve been practicing hard and here are some of our best examples so far…
Theresa May to hand over Great Britain’s sovereignty to Saudi Arabian Prince once UK crashes out of the EU. New policies discussed included swapping EU Law for Shariah Law and forcing all women to wear burqas/niqabs with uncomfortable 5 inch high heels.Boris Johnson and Michael Gove conspire to take over the United Kingdom. Found holding a bottle of deadly nerve agent Novichoc! It was them all along and not the pesky Russians. (We have pitch forks at the ready in case that one might be partly true) …That Twat, David Cameron is not in Nice with his trotters up but is actually joining boy band One Direction. Changing his name to Twatty Trotters, the ex-PM hopes to become a new heartthrob and bust some hot trots on the stage.Donald Trump and Nigel Farage were caught in Trump Towers golden lift smoking cannabis! The gold interior is thought to reflect the laughter-inducing ‘blowback’ As unsuspecting visitors opened the lift, smoke hit them and filled the corridor. As the mist cleared Faroutage and Frump were laughing hysterically like crazed dental clients who spent too long on the laughing gas. Witnesses said they saw two puddles on the floor and dark patches which they identified as Trump and Farage.It has been revealed that Margaret Thatcher obtained the services of Jim’ll fix it for her to win the election in exchange for her covering up pedophile files. Jimmy pictured is handing Thatcher a cheque to help with election costs, whilst she hands him an ‘I can get away scot free from investigation by the NSPCC’ badge.Outrage sparked as PM found wearing a T-shirt that tells people what a feminist looks like. People have been joining protest walks through London demanding that A: that can’t possibly be what a feminist looks like! can it? And B: totalitarian rules of what a feminist looks like be dropped so that anyone, no matter what they look like can be a feminist
Every day is a happy News day for us now as we adopt the rules (orders from above) to use fake memes and create the news we want as long as we can find a photo that sort of backs it up!
Breaking !
More exciting news for Hacks in the UK, thanks to Barking, Margaret Hodge.
It seems that now we can trivialise the worst tragedies and human disasters in order to compare them to our own lives.
Christmas comes twice for us hacks !
Already many hacks across Twitter are making great use of this new discovery.
Whilst we at Hack HQ know that we will never master the #HodgeComparisons technique as well as her we are looking forward to making great use of it in our unreal, news distracting articles in due course!
In the meantime we leave you with some wonderful examples of Hodge’s use of #HodgeComparisons.
#HappyHacks (Hey we’ve even mastered this strange hashtag thing those ‘other’ people keep doing.. (hmm, wonder if it will catch on ?)
